Things I Hate
Making peace with the things I hate, so I can be good at the things I love.
We don’t talk enough about the things that we hate. How they hold us back, stifle our creativity, and limit our motivation.
There are so many things that I hate. Meetings. Mowing the lawn. Almost everything about flying. Riding Horses. Humidity.
Some of the things that I hate, though, are necessary to be good at the things that I love. Getting up early. Knowing (and loosely following) grammatical rules. Lifting weights. Cooking healthy meals. Editing. Attention to detail. Organization.
I struggle with this dichotomy. That struggle has raised the question, how do we reconcile the need to be good at the things we hate to be exceptional at the things we love? I think it’s a difficult road to navigate.
All of the Tasks
Take writing. Just being good, or even exceptional, at the act of writing (I make no claim to this) is not enough. You have to be decent, if not good, at so many other things to find success:
Thinking up creative ideas;
Creating engaging plots;
Grammar;
Time management;
Research;
Developing characters;
Knowing how to implement literary devices;
Editing;
Being unsympathetic about your writing; and
Managing energy.
And this is just to write the piece, it doesn’t account for all of the work required after you finish writing, such as marketing and selling the book. Honestly, the list of necessary skills is just about endless.
Any serious pursuit would have a similar list. Photography certainly does, as does being an attorney. But I can’t imagine anyone really likes all of the tasks required to be good at writing, or photography, or being an attorney. I certainly don’t, yet if we are to take our pursuits seriously and endeavor to produce excellent works of art, then we still have to do these tasks. So, how do we not let them ruin our joy.
Focus on the Value
I believe that to gin up motivation to do these less desirable tasks, we have to find our individual value proposition. We have to identify the core reason for why we pursue each endeavor and focus on that specific thing, rather than trying to split our focus across multiple tasks.
My thinking on this has changed over time. I have become more acutely aware of how I derive joy and as a result, of when and how I choose to spend my time and energy.
When I was just out of law school, I thought I should like everything about being an attorney. Or, at a minimum, I should like being an attorney enough that it would far outweigh the things that I dislike. I was young and foolish. Not only is there a lot about being an attorney that I don’t like, but in some months and years I spent the majority of my working life on those tasks. I got tired and stressed and had very little job satisfaction. That is not a recipe for being happy. And it’s not a recipe for being creative (creativity is also an asset for an attorney).
Over time, I have gradually shifted my focus to spend more time on activities that I enjoy. Less time on document review, for instance, and more on giving advice.
Also, the concept of being an attorney, the cache of the profession, has little value. I just don’t derive much self-worth from it. I do, however, increasingly find value in my ability to help people solve their problems. And by focusing on the value inherent in that work, I have more tolerance for the tasks required to get the job done.
While the shift in my mental approach to legal work was fairly natural, the realization of what I was doing came not through my work as an attorney, but through my writing and photography.
With writing, I have massive swings between the things that I love, actually writing, and the things that I hate, editing. When I’m sitting at my desk to write a chapter, I can completely lose myself in the story and write for long periods of time without a break. Editing, though, is always a chore, something I put off over and over again. The other tasks fall somewhere between my pure love for writing and my pure hate for editing.
Where I find value, though, is in the finished work. The rough draft, littered with errors and inconsistencies, is of little use without editing. So if I want a fully actualized piece that reflects my vision, then I need to focus on what brings me joy, having something to share with the world, and assign importance to each task that is required to achieve that goal. So, I have to get comfortable with editing.
I have a much healthier relationship with the work of photography. There’s little about producing a photograph that I dislike. I even like editing photography. My favorite part, though, is in actually taking the photographs. If I’m photographing wildlife, then hours can pass as I follow the action. With landscapes, the process is a zen-like exercise.
The process for both is similar. First, I have to identify the location, usually if I’m aiming for a landscape photograph then I have a general idea of composition. Second, getting to the spot at the right time (usually very early) and with the right equipment. Third, setting up the shot. Fourth, working the scene and making adjustments as the light changes. Fifth, processing the images to create the photographs that I share.
So, the creative and technical aspects of writing and photography are different. Photography is highly technical, requiring the ability to manipulate equipment and light. Writing is a pure exercise of the mind and the imagination. Writing, to me, is much easier to do and much harder to be good at. Both, however, have a definitive end product, a creative work that expresses an artistic vision.
Focusing on that end product, and the vision, makes it easier to endure the drudgery of the menial tasks required along the way. As I have written and photographed, and then edited those pieces, I have developed an appreciation for the value proposition of the things that I dislike. It’s still hard, there’s still a lot I dislike and am not good at, but there is at least an obvious reason to make an effort to get better. So where does that leave us?
Get Comfortable with Being Good Enough
Here’s my theory. We’re all exceptional, or at least have the capability to be exceptional, at certain things. Maybe I’m exceptional at framing photographs, or at thinking up story ideas, but I’m only mediocre at the rest. And some of the rest I really like doing but can’t master, and some I actively dislike. Perhaps there’s some tasks that I’m just bad at doing or that I will just always hate. How, then, do I produce great art that expresses my vision?
I think we need to get comfortable with good enough. With art, I want to be perfect, only the writing and photography will never be perfect. Perfection is impossible, and my inordinate focus on the things that I hate gets in the way of making progress towards creating something that I love. What’s the solution? Lean into the things that I’m exceptional at and get comfortable with being good enough at the rest, including the things that I hate. If I take my creative ideas as far as I can with the talent I have, then that is a job well done. The art won’t be perfect, but it will be mine.
***
As always, thank you for reading.